Sunday, December 09, 2007
A few days have passed since I had my last exam paper, and now I feel quite rested, almost recovered, and ready for the big challenge that lies ahead.
I've just finished revising my research proposal (yet again!) and after I submit it tomorrow, I really have better stop slacking around so much and put in more effort for the HT. I'm not doing this just for the grade, or even for Dr Y only - I'm doing this for myself, to test whether I truly enjoy doing research and writing on a sustained basis, and whether it will be a wise career choice to further my studies after I graduate.
But before we jump forward into the future, let's think a little about the past. As is my usual practice, I'll say a few things about what this semester meant to me.
This wasn't the first time I took a 4000-level module, but it certainly was the first time I took several 4000-level modules together with fellow Lit majors from my batch. I must admit I didn't get to know many people from the same batch as me over the past three years, being somehow always closer to the seniors, but I'm really glad to have gotten the opportunity to talk to people I've seen but never spoken to before. And I'm even more glad that after talking to them, my (mis)perceptions of them have changed for the better. I've always felt that Kar Wee and Qiurong were rather cold and standoffish towards me, hardly smiling whenever I attempted to smile at them (always a weak smile, because I'm not very comfortable with people I don't know well), but I've since found out that they are actually pretty nice people. I've also realised that Stefan, whom I thought was rather reserved and serious, is actually quite the comedian in class. And I've gotten to know many warm, friendly girls like Gurpreet, Wan Ching, Meixi, Cheryl, Kimberley, Liza, Pei, Val... (I think there's a sex bias here...)
I guess what it took was being in the same seminars and being in the same situation as stressed-out 4th-year students who love reading and talking about literature (with the exception of a certain someone who refuses to speak up and 'stones' during class *looks sideways at MW*), to get us to smile at each other and say, "Hi, I'm so-and-so; Research Workshop is going really slow in the mornings, isn't it?"
This camaraderie has really been a great support. Never before have I felt like I was really part of this close-knitted community of Lit students who can all speak freely, understand what each other is saying, and laugh at the same things. The Topics in the 20th Century seminar was especially enjoyable. Sitting together in an oval, bouncing off ideas back and forth and helping each other deepen our interpretations, getting worked up over whether we took William or Isabel's side, and laughing at ourselves for getting worked up - it was great fun and I hope we can have more classes like this in the next semester.
I'm also very happy that this semester has allowed me to spend more time with MW and to get to know her better. Although I've known her ever since our first semester in NUS, when we were in the same project group in that horrible EN2101E module, we didn't really open up to each other for quite a long time. This semester has really helped us to become freer with each other. We've had fun times struggling together through Asia Moderns, having weird conversations over lunch about all sorts of inanities, moaning about guys, helping each other collect and zap readings and essays. MW is the only person I know who can ask you with a totally straight face if castration involves cutting off a man's penis and if that is so, how does the guy then pee - and I'm glad to have her for a friend =)
Talking to PY the other day at the library, I was reminded of the very unpleasant fact that time does speed by like a "winged chariot" and that we're already at the end of our second last semester here in NUS. I've come to love NUS (even though it's not perfect) and to regard it as my second home, and it will really be heartbreaking to leave it and all my friends and teachers when I graduate. The corridors, the library, the old Arts canteen (now sadly gone forever), the LTs - every space in the campus is etched with memories and has become so much a part of myself, while I hope to have become a part of it as well. But even if I do further my studies in NUS, departures are always inevitable, so I guess there's not much I can do but to remember everything I loved about this semester and all past semesters, and to treasure every hour, every minute of my final semester.
kaoru said at 6:25 AM
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