Thursday, October 05, 2006
Early this morning at 8am, I took my Japanese 5 mid-term test. It was a pretty weird experience. Let me tell you why...
I woke up extra early in the morning to get to LT10 on time because sensei told us he wanted to start the listening comprehension at exactly 8am. I was sitting at the benches on the other side of the Smokers' Corner talking to my classmates, and I happened to glimpse sensei dashing into LT9. It was a casual glance and I didn't make much of it. When it was nearly 8am, my classmates and I joined the rest in Lt10 and we waited for sensei. And we waited and waited and waited. And as we were all wondering why he was late when he told us to be early, he appeared and admitted sheepishly that he had made a mistake and was waiting all along in LT9, even though he booked LT10... =____="
So because sensei had laid out the papers already, we had to shift to LT10. Things ran smoothly till 8.55am when tadah! Aloysius (!) came into LT9 and told sensei that his class was going to have a lecture/seminar in LT9 and then he stood at the front of the LT as if he was going to deliver a lecture (!!). So we had to pack up and shift back to LT10. And sensei was so embarrassed he kept giggling uncomfortably... >____<
After the test, I had to go over to Science to help with the setting up of the Gakuensai bazaar and guess who I should see walking down the opposite side of the road but my 20th Century lecturer! And he actually waved and stopped to ask me if it was the "end of the day" for me. How nice! But the rate at which I bump into him in school (at least once outside the classroom per week) is honestly very freaky.
And oh yes, Dr Y apparently speaks French! He certainly relished reading that line from Baudelaire slowly and emphatically during the Eliot lecture. It was very weird and definitely not, uh, "sexy" to my mind. But anyway, to change the topic...
Today is the second day of our Gakuensai School Festival Bazaar. Things seem to be going pretty smoothly except for a few hiccups and a rather big problem involving power disconnection and an ice cream machine. But this is after all the first time the NUS Anime Club is organizing such a large-scale bazaar (our previous "bazaars" were misnomers) and while I plead for some leniency, I also recognize that there is a lot that can be learnt from this experience. Especially on my part. I feel like I've not really come of age yet and am still making stupid mistakes and depending very much on the seniors, in particular, my precursor. He always seems to be there when we need help, and especially when trouble strikes. I'm not suggesting this is a Freudian situation of Oedipal power struggles but I do think I'm still a long way from being as effective a leader as he was.
In fact, I think I really do lean very much on my seniors. For the past 2 years, I have tended to be closer to the seniors in my Lit classes than those of my own cohort. As a result, I don't have many friends who are 3rd-year Lit students now. And now that many familiar faces are gone (it still feels strange not to see James and Elizabeth and Lilin in class... even Xuan is graduating next semester!) and I'm expected to be the one providing the "intellectual comments" in class, it all feels very surreal and pressurizing. I suppose it's because I still feel very unsure about myself and my views, and thus I always seem to be searching for a mentor-figure whom I can admire, even idolize, and emulate. Perhaps this isn't very healthy, perhaps it's even sort of a Peter Pan complex... but perhaps it is one of the necessary struggles of youth turning into maturity?
kaoru said at 6:23 AM
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