Monday, February 13, 2006
I'm all in a flurry today.
As I was walking from the Arts canteen to the AS7 computer cluster, I happened to meet one of my lit lecturers who taught me last semester. I smiled at him and he stopped to talk to me. But the first thing that came out of his mouth was "Is that you, Wai Yee?" That completely caught me off-guard. I mean, like, how was I supposed to interpret that question? So I said, "Uh, yeahh..." in my usual half-hesitant-half-skeptical manner. Then, he was started beaming all over. I was somewhat freaked out but in a colossal effort to be friendly, I replied, "Erm, is it because I look very different or something?" But come to think of it, I don't think I managed to hit that right tone of warm but polite bantering...
Anyway, he said, "Oh no, it's because I have a very bad memory. It's nothing to do with you :) :) :) " Then he went on to ask, "You are in your second year... right?" I replied, "Um, yeah, second year second sem..."
Then he said, "So you are going to become a lit... oh wait, you already are a lit major...?" "Un! :) :) :)" (for some strange reason, I spoke informal Japanese to my lit lecturer!!??)
"Oh, good... well, um... :) :) :)" *began to make gestures towards the canteen*
At this point, my mind was in a total mess and all I could utter was an utterly senseless "Erm, thanks, bye..." before turning away.
This is the first time my lit lecturer has spoken to me outside class (well, apart from asking for my essays) AND I TOTALLY SCREWED IT UP!!!??? And the really stupid thing was that I reproduced the same conversation pattern of "Um, yes, yeah" and really awkward endings in Japanese with my ex-Japanese language tutor whom I met less than 20 min after that incident.
What the hell is wrong with me? I can write 1500-word essays arguing why Robert Browning's monomaniac dramatic monologuists are intriguing but I can't sustain a simple conversation in either my first language or my third language? I must have looked like such an idiot...
On another note, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I know it's going to pass just like any other day in the year. Ok, maybe not for the couples who suddenly get all lovey-dovey and hand-holdy one week before V Day and argue about who takes out the trash the week after, but for me, I know it's going to be the same old, same old. Even my mom has a V Day lunch at the Pine Tree Club with her line-dancing auntie friends tomorrow. I have Computational Science homework due at 10am on Wed morning.
But don't get me wrong. I'm not bitter at being single. In fact, I detest it when people suggest that I somehow exist less as a human being if I don't have some guy to bring me out to fancy restaurants and buy lavish gifts for me. I'm neither happy nor depressed and suicidal that I don't have a boyfriend. I just accept it as a fact of my existence. Surely one is not made complete by one person alone. That is way too limiting... in my opinion, I'm living a very rich life now with lots of good friends by my side. I'm just a little disappointed that we couldn't celebrate V Day in our own way because we all have school the next morning...
kaoru said at 8:02 AM
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